Periods are Metal
The supremely sexist adage goes like this: “I don’t trust anything that bleeds every month and doesn’t die.” You know, those bitches who keep getting their periods all the time. I happen to think that bleeding each month and not dying is probably one of the most “metal” things one could do.
What makes it so metal? Well, the most obvious component is, duh, blood. Tissue. Excretions. Oh, the gory lyrics we should write. Some of us have flows that barely need any coverage. Others feel like they’re wearing diapers for seven or even eight days a month. And it ain’t anything like that blue goo used in Kotex commercials.
Periods are fucking metal. Even more metal are periods that are painful beyond the norm. Periods experienced by women with fibroids, endometriosis and other disorders of the reproductive system. With these conditions, the monthly visitor is a terror; a demon to be reckoned with that cannot be conquered except through pharmaceuticals, beer or extreme rage. A combination of all three, plus a hot bath that surrounds you with clots, amounts to an image that’s as unsettling as a Mayhem cover.
If we could force our male metal friends to experience our bodies for even one day with these conditions, which often require surgery, we’d have a whole new heap of respect — not just misdirected sympathy or misunderstanding. Want to feel like your insides are being scooped out with a dull spoon like a Halloween pumpkin? Yeah. Welcome to my body, boys. I don’t want hugs and coddling. I want you to growl and scream with me.
It’s not a stretch to say that envy of this natural process (and what it means: ahem, makin’ babies) could be a huge (yet likely subconscious) reason for a lot of people’s sexist beliefs. If I reduce you to a biological process I don’t understand, I dehumanize you. And if I dehumanize you, I don’t have to respect you. For those dudes who think women are weak or aren’t brutal enough for metal, well, I urge you to try kidney stones or a penile swab and see how that impacts your worldview. See how metal you are then. Pain is a bitch to conquer, and we “bitches” conquer it all the time. Good luck with that chlamydia test.
-Morla, the ancient one