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Periods are Metal

February 10, 2010

The supremely sexist adage goes like this: “I don’t trust anything that bleeds every month and doesn’t die.” You know, those bitches who keep getting their periods all the time. I happen to think that bleeding each month and not dying is probably one of the most “metal” things one could do.

What makes it so metal? Well, the most obvious component is, duh, blood. Tissue. Excretions. Oh, the gory lyrics we should write. Some of us have flows that barely need any coverage. Others feel like they’re wearing diapers for seven or even eight days a month. And it ain’t anything like that blue goo used in Kotex commercials.

Periods are fucking metal. Even more metal are periods that are painful beyond the norm. Periods experienced by women with fibroids, endometriosis and other disorders of the reproductive system. With these conditions, the monthly visitor is a terror; a demon to be reckoned with that cannot be conquered except through pharmaceuticals, beer or extreme rage. A combination of all three, plus a hot bath that surrounds you with clots, amounts to an image that’s as unsettling as a Mayhem cover.

If we could force our male metal friends to experience our bodies for even one day with these conditions, which often require surgery, we’d have a whole new heap of respect — not just misdirected sympathy or misunderstanding. Want to feel like your insides are being scooped out with a dull spoon like a Halloween pumpkin? Yeah. Welcome to my body, boys. I don’t want hugs and coddling. I want you to growl and scream with me.

It’s not a stretch to say that envy of this natural process (and what it means: ahem, makin’ babies) could be a huge (yet likely subconscious) reason for a lot of people’s sexist beliefs. If I reduce you to a biological process I don’t understand, I dehumanize you. And if I dehumanize you, I don’t have to respect you. For those dudes who think women are weak or aren’t brutal enough for metal, well, I urge you to try kidney stones or a penile swab and see how that impacts your worldview. See how metal you are then. Pain is a bitch to conquer, and we “bitches” conquer it all the time. Good luck with that chlamydia test.

-Morla, the ancient one

10 Comments leave one →
  1. S.E.M. permalink
    April 11, 2010 7:47 pm

    Heck yes, Periods are METAL! I have been thinking and speaking of this since the first time my uterine lining shed and I became maddened by hormones! HAILS!

  2. April 19, 2010 4:59 pm

    OMG, yes. Love this so much. Thanks for posting this and keep it up!

  3. Gilberg the Almighty permalink
    May 14, 2010 2:14 am

    Being over-emotional and taking your anger out on people who don’t deserve it just because your flood gates open is not metal. Hell Gilberg the Almighty is more metal and he’s jewish.

    • May 14, 2010 2:55 am

      I don’t really know how this relates to the post, but thanks for reading. Your condescension and misunderstanding of the true challenge of being a woman with health issues related to menstruation is one shared by the medical community as well.

      • bex permalink
        June 5, 2010 1:53 am

        Actually, taking your emotions out on people who don’t deserve it for any reason is totally metal.

        But yes, I love trolls, too.

      • June 5, 2010 8:04 am

        Trolls live under bridges. I love bridges (get it: music!)

  4. prettyinblack permalink
    December 23, 2010 11:20 pm

    Endo is complete metal. As a chick who suffers from it and is into metal, it can be fucking brutal. Luckily it seems to have waned over the past few years.

  5. poisonpath permalink
    September 10, 2011 3:27 pm

    Awesome post! I’d never considered my period that way, but bleeding and being in pain every month is totally metal. I also liked your description of the bathtub with clots in it. That’s totally going to be the cover of the first album of my imaginary feminist metalband.

  6. lilithvf1998 permalink
    May 30, 2012 10:26 pm

    Just remember that not all women menstruate, and some men do, and it all can be pretty fucking metal.



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